<catching fireflies & playing T-Ball>
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 … 8:00 AM … Our car merged onto Interstate 85 from Piedmont Road … Atlanta. The big day had finally arrived … Plan A and Plan B of our lives … intersecting each other, perhaps, more accurately, crashing into one another.
Plan A: Wednesday, February 3, 2010 … National Signing Day … Clemson’s Recruiting Class of 2010 … such a proud moment <pride … beware!>. Our son … Linebacker … 6’2″ 240 lbs … Anderson, SC … a time of celebration. I had envisioned the day in detail … perhaps the signing taking place at TL Hanna High School, surrounded by family, friends, and coaches. That was our Plan A.
Plan B: Wednesday, February 3, 2010 … 8:00 AM … Moments earlier Craig and I hoisted Jake into the car from our apartment at Shepherd Rehab Center, placing his wheel chair into the trunk. We drove 25 minutes toward Shepherd Pathways for outpatient recovery. For the next 3 months we would make the daily commute. Jake had completed acute inpatient rehab and now had advanced to outpatient recovery. Plan B … a day of celebration.
The song Fireflies played on the radio, B98.5 … it played every morning around 8:03 AM. I know this because as I sat in the back seat … day after day in early 2010 … like clockwork, Fireflies would play. Almost in a catatonic state, I stared at the backs of Craig’s head and Jake’s helmet. What happened to our Plan A world we once knew?
On this particular morning, I held tightly onto the signed paperwork … Jake’s NCAA acceptance letter for his football scholarship. Our dream had come true … in a nightmarish/Plan B sort of way.
Craig quickly pulled into Office Depot … Jake’s rehab started promptly at 9:00 AM. I ran inside faxing his Letter of Intent to Clemson. Our Plan A in life was verified by one piece of paper, confirming the Fax had been sent.
At that moment I realized our dreams and plans were slipping away. I didn’t understand … I thought God was on board with our plans. Life had been unfolding the way we had planned. What happened? Why God?
What was your Plan A fill in the blank moment in life? The event where you understood that control was nothing more than an illusion. When, as a believer, you choke on the words struggling to say, ‘…not my will but Your will be done.’
Returning to the car, the song Fireflies still played! I commented on the length of the song. Craig and Jake laughed as they had changed the station. So, Fireflies played on. From my backseat in the car, I became transfixed by the helmet Jake wore. It was no longer the Plan A helmet …
It was the Plan B helmet ... the one Jake wore in order to protect his brain while his skull was safely stored in his abdomen.
February 3, 2010 … Note to self and to God … ‘I’ve got this. I’m strong, armed … ready for the battle and for this journey … God, it’s You and me together! FYI God, I’m planning 18 months maybe 2 years for the duration of this trial … that should be long enough;)
‘For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11
Wednesday, September 28, 2016 8:01 AM … cruising down a California freeway … more like bumper to bumper traffic. My son and I are headed to Stanford Hospital, Palo Alto … The Breeze 98.5 radio station is playing oldies, with one song quite familiar to me … Fireflies …
Why God? When God? Fireflies is still playing … almost 7 years later … and Fireflies is still playing. Do I need to remind You that I scheduled the completion of this trial 18 months to 2 years? Do You remember?
“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3
Today … this is what I know. As a Believer, His Truth speaks clearly and directly to my life … and to your life. It’s absolute and irrefutable … God is Sovereign. His plan is perfect. He is in control. There are no exceptions. We must rest in that Truth.
The battle and attacks from Satan are real … doubt, fear, anxiety, and worry. They must be extinguished by placing our Hope into a powerful, in control God who defeated death.
Therein lies my hope and my joy … even when life is not pretty in a circumstantial/Plan A sort of way.
Yes … Fireflies plays on. It’s a fun and funky song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psuRGfAaju4
<Pressing Toward Joy thought: God is sovereign. His Plan is perfect. He is control.>